Common Reactions in Grieving

What might occur during a time of grief? 

First of all, there is no “correct way” to respond to the death of someone in your life.  Our communities, families, and cultures often play a great part in how we learn to express grief.  Grief is often experienced as a host of many different emotions; sadness, anger, or happiness surrounding remembered times. In addition, there may be complicated feelings of guilt or remorse surrounding times of conflict. Sleep and appetite may also be disrupted during times of grief or mourning. 

Many people may experience a numb feeling in the initial days and weeks of loss, with strong feelings emerging weeks or months following the loss. What is important to know and remember is that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. While there are common elements in the grief process, we all experience grief differently.  

Still, there are some common reactions to grief, and we want you to be aware of these so you can take a more patient and compassionate stance toward yourself if you recognize these in the days and weeks following a death of a peer or loved one. 

Some additional reactions that may occur during a time of grief: 

Emotional Reactions 

• Sadness or a heavy feeling of hurt that feels hard to describe
• Panic and anxiety
• Fear of death
• Loneliness
• Tearfulness, crying
• Anger

Physical Reactions 

• Exaggerated startle response
• Increased physical illness
• Fatigue

Behavioral Reactions 

• Withdrawal from others
• Increased irritation with others
• Difficulty with focus or concentration
• Increased attachment to friends and/or family
• Increased use of alcohol or other substances
• Loss of pleasure in once pleasurable activities